Many of us have been inspired by the "I am second" movement. I know that I have been for certain as I listen to the stories of some of my favorite sports figures, actors and others. I want to say right up front that I am in NO WAY knocking what the www.iamsecond.com website is doing to advance the idea of moving focus from ourselves and to others. Rather, I would like to extend my thanks to them for all that they are doing to advance this concept. I just want to take this concept one step further and talk just a bit about why I am NOT second and, maybe, why you shouldn't be, either.
I will begin with the answer Jesus gave for what we are supposed to do above all else. Matthew 22 is an interesting chapter in the bible for me, because it tells the story of a series of traps that the Jews tried to lay for Jesus. Pharisees first, then Saddusees, then (again) the Pharisees came to Jesus with a question intended to trap him. I only want to focus on the answer to that question. The question can be found in verse 36. It reads, "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" Jesus answer was two-fold. The first part is given in verse 37-38, which reads
"And He said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the great and foremost commandment."
Part two of Jesus' answer is found in verse 39, which reads,
"The second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'"
There have been MANY sermons preached on these two verses, both together and individually. What I want to do in this article is discuss the last part of what Jesus said in response to this question, as well as the word "love" which was included in both parts of his answer. The last part of the response is found in verse 40, which reads,
"On these two commandments depend the whole Law and Prophets."
So the question I would pose to you is this: "What does Jesus mean when he says "love"?" There are numerous places where we are commanded to love. In Matthew 22, Jesus says that love is the most important thing that we can learn from then entirety of scripture, but what does that love look like? Here are a few more of Jesus words to the disciples that clarifies a little bit of Jesus view on what love is supposed to include:
John 15:12-13 "This is my commmandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."
I am not going to quote the entire teaching from Jesus here, but he goes on to talk about the fact that we are chosen specifically to bear fruit. In the context of his discussion with his disciples here, it is clear that the fruit we are to bear IS love one for another. So is it necessary that we die for our friend in order to show love? Certainly not, but the teaching is that a WILLINGNESS to do so is a supreme indicator that there is true love involved. What else is there that shows true love? Let's read from 1 Corinthians 13, which is often called "The Love Chapter". I will quote just verses 4-8a here:
"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails;"
It is very easy to read over these words and not pay careful attention to the details that Paul is sharing here about love. The most important thing to get from this chapter is that Paul is NOT describing something that is unobtainable or unreachable by humans. Paul is very specifically detailing HUMAN love within the capability humanity. It is an easy thing to say the words, "I love you," but to REALLY love is not as easy. What does Paul's teaching mean?
"Love is patient" can mean many things, but for me it means that if I am to love properly, I must be willing to allow my love to continue even when I do not see results from it. For example, I must continue to love even when someone acts in an unloving manner. I must continue to love, even when the person I love is continuing in a sinful lifestyle. I must be patient in love, as God is toward me. In Exodus 34:6-7a we read this about God:
Then the Lord passed by in front of him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth; who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin;"
As God is love, and I am to emulate Jesus in my life, then my love must also be a patient love.
"Love is kind" is pretty straightforward. If I am to love as I am told to love, then my love should cause me to ACT on that love in a manner that is kind to others. I cannot truly love if I am mean to the person I SAY I love. But it is much more than just not being mean..it is about treating people with kindness. Giving of our time, efforts, money and more. Jesus said in Matthew 25:40 these words:
The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'
Our kindness in love is a reflection of how we treat Jesus in our lives. Matthew 25:31-46 will give you a bit more insight into exactly how Jesus looks at the kindness in our love.
So love is patient and love is kind. Paul also teaches that love is not jealous. This is really about envy. A real love will cause us to rejoice in the blessings that others receive. We all tend to be envious and jealous at times, but Paul's words here make the point that this behavior is the opposite of love. This is also part of what he means when he said that "love does not seek it's own." Our love is the fulfillment of the law, as Romans 13:10 states:
Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
The law (the ten commandments) specifically state that "you shall not covet", and that is, after all, what envy is all about. True love is NOT jealous.
Paul also teaches that love is not boastful or arrogant and does not act in an unbecoming manner. These actions are all about making others look at us and how important WE are. Love, you see, is the opposite of this. Love is all about raising up the OTHER person. How can we truly love if we are all about drawing attention to ourselves? The fact is that we cannot, because that is not love. Christ calls us to be servants, as HE was. If ever there was a human who had a REAL basis for boasting, it was Jesus, who was, after all, God in the flesh. However, God – Jesus – chose to become a servant and do the job of washing the feet of his disciples (John 13:1-17). Jesus, you see, came to serve and we should do no less. In fact, Jesus says as much in Matthew 20:26-28:
It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
Love, Paul says, ". . . is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered." This is about forgiveness. Many times, we are able to recall with amazing clarity the thing some person said or did to us 30 years ago, but we cannot remember what we had for dinner last night. As Christians, we are called to forgiveness. It is among the most important things we can do, as our own forgiveness relies on our willingness to forgive others, which is what love is supposed to do. Jesus tied forgiveness to our prayer life, around which our relationship with God revolves. In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus says:
For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
Like the other descriptions for what love is and is not, the reality is that failure to allow forgiveness makes our love self-centered, which, once again, is not love at all.
Another aspect of Godly love that we are to show seems a little counter-intuitive given the call to forgive in the previous phrase, is that "[love] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth." This is in no way a justification to hold onto things that we should forgive. In fact, it is a function of forgiveness that permits US to let go of the past and move on with our lives. By providing forgiveness to others, it permits THEM to do the same. If we continue to remind those around us of their sinfulness and "unrighteousness", then it is much more difficult for them to move on to the point where they can experience the truth of God's love in their lives as well.
One reality that may be overlooked is that ALL of the things that Paul says love is, is not, does or does not make one simple idea clear. This idea is that our love for others, though it comes from inside us is not about us at all. Love is ALL about the other person. Jesus said that besides our love for God, our love for our fellow man is the most important of ALL the commandments. This means that in order for us to properly love others, we cannot be "second". It means that God is first, ALL others are next and we, having been called to serve others, are LAST! Our every action should be about loving others. We should always be patient and kind with them. We should never covet their blessings, rather we should rejoice with them and for them for God's hand in their lives. We should not make more of ourselves than we ought, rather we should lift others up. We must always be willing to forgive and serve. We should rejoice when God's truth is fulfilled in the lives of those we are called to love. This is what love is supposed to look like ALL the time.
Paul's final words describing and summarizing how our love should look to others is this: "love never fails." What this means is that if I TRULY love, then I should ALWAYS love. Not just when it is convenient or when it feels right. Not just when others love us back. Not just when the person we love acts "properly". We are to ALWAYS LOVE! Let's allow God's love toward us to shine through so that others can feel his love and learn to experience the joy that we know.
I know that I haven't written much in recent weeks, but I hope to begin writing and teaching again soon. It is no excuse, but I have been a bit overwhelmed with some things in my personal life that have simply taken a lot of my time. This is not a bad thing, but my teaching has suffered. I would ask that you do a couple of things for me. First, please pray for me that I am able to share God's word with others with his teachings. This is the most important thing. Secondly, please share these teachings with others on Facebook, in your churches and whereever you see a good opportunity to do so. It doesn't hurt to share an encouraging word with me if what I write blesses you. Until next time, I want you to know that I truly do love you whether you realize it or not.